V0LUMEs UP T0 + IMM0RTAL TECHNIQUE . DANCE WITH THE DEVIL

M00D + D0ING JUST FINE.

CUURENTLY + TALKING T0 J0Y 0N THE PH0NE.

WELL HERE I AM FINALLY TALKING 0N THE PH0NE WITH J0Y AFTER ALL THE TIMES WE`VE TRIED. 0HH MAN. IT`S PRETTY TIGHT. WE`VE CLICKED. "MS. P0PULAR HUH?... HAHA. N0 IT`S MY DAD!!" CAN`T WAIT TIL SEPTEMBER Y0. SAC T0WN TRIP T0 VISIT & FAM PARTY. WELL T0DAY WAS PRETTY CHILL. FIRST DAY 0F CLASSES. WELC0ME S0PH0M0RE YEAR!! SAW EVERY0NE. MET S0ME NEW FRIENDS. HEBERT [HERBIE], KAY, AND ANTH0NY. TIN WAS HER 0LD SELF AS USUAL. SHE G0T HER HAIR DID AL0NG WITH ELLYSE. HAPPY BIRTHDAY RH0NNA!! AFTER SCH00L, PLANNED T0 G0 GET MY EYEBR0W`S D0NE. WAITED F0R MAI T0 G0 T0 THE B00K ST0RE. SHE WAS LAZY AS USUAL. HAHA. THEN THIS THING HAPPENED WHILE WE WERE WAITING F0R NAI... HAHA THAT WAS S0ME HILARI0US SHIT... F.0.B!! DAMN. I SWEAR I C0ULDN`T BREATHE.G00D TIMES. HEY L00K WHAT I F0UND.

Auto response from BAB1E SMiLES (6:23:49 PM):

which one of yall mother fuckers called my house at 1 in the morning.. and sadly, my mother answered? lol. she said ITZ A BOI.

[ talking to heidi in front of a fresh off the boat ]

heidi: yea !! she talks like a - - - - -

[ heidi&me stare at each other & the boi .. then we start laughing our asses off ... ]

hahahahaha. you shoudve been there. stupid heidi.

HAHA. YUP. THANKS MAIC0L0REIN. HER NAME IS S000 L0NG!! H0LY SHIT. THAT GIRL HAS BEEN LAUGHING HER ASS 0FF THE WH0LE DAY!! IT`S FUCKIN FUNNY. SHE`S HAPPY. HAHA. THAT`S H0W IT S0MEH0W WENT. AFTER THAT, DAD PICKED ME.NAI&MAI UP. DR0PPED THEM 0FF T0 MAI`S H0USE. THEN DAD T00K ME T0 THE SAL0N. DECIDED T0 GET EM D0NE T0M0RR0W. L0NG ASS LINE. S0 WE WENT T0 CH0WKING. G0T MY "BLK GULA" AS USUAL. RENTED M0VIES. G0T H0ME & J0Y CALLED. YAY!! BUT IT`S C00L. 0HH DAMN. I NEED T0 START PREPARING F0R SATURDAY. G0TTA BE AT SCH00L T0M0RR0W BY 10 S0 I HAVE TIME. RIGHT N0W I`M JUST CHILLIN. FEELIN` WHATEVER. DRAMA. TALKED T0 ISSA AB0UT IT. THANKS F0R LISTENING. S0RRY AB0UT WHAT HAPPENED. BUT FUCK THAT MAN. UGH!! I UNDERSTAND TH0UGH. BUT YEAH.

DRAMA1. I D0N`T KN0W WHAT I SH0ULD SEE Y0U AS ANYM0RE. I MEAN, Y0U`RE STILL A PERS0N WH0`S MADE A DIFFERENCE IN MY LIFE & STILL A PERS0N WH0 I CARE AB0UT. I JUST D0N`T KN0W. I FEEL S0 FUCKIN L0W WHEN I TALK T0 Y0U. EVEN W0RSE THAN EVER. Y0U`RE ALWAYS G0NNA S0UND RIGHT AB0UT EVERYTHING. LIKE I`M ALWAYS WR0NG N0 MATTER WHAT I SAY. I D0N`T MEAN T0 SH0W Y0U DISRESPECT BY TALKING IN THE WAY I D0 T0 Y0U.. BUT I JUST HAVE T0 SAY WHAT I FEEL. S0METIMES I WISHED Y0U`D UNDERSTAND H0W BAD IT FEELS T0 BE IN MY PLACE & I`D SEE H0W IT FEELS T0 BE IN Y0URS. I KN0W I`VE HURT Y0U BEF0RE BUT MAYBE TIME W0ULD CHANGE THINGS A LIL BIT. N0 RUSH. I KN0W MADE ALL THAT SHIT HAPPEN BUT I D0N`T WANT ANYM0RE SHIT.

DRAMA2. S0 MUCH HAS HAPPENED ALREADY & I GUESS I`M STILL N0T 0VER A C0UPLE 0F THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED. I CAN`T ACCEPT IT. I TH0UGHT I DID BUT I PR0BABLY WAS ALL FUCKED UP 0R S0METHING. I STILL FIND MYSELF L00KING BACK AT THE PAST MEM0RIES & DAMN... IT`S BEING MISSED. N0 MATTER H0W MUCH I`VE TRIED T0 M0VE 0N WITH THE SHIT... N0THING HAPPENS. I D0N`T KN0W IF I STILL FEEL IT 0R N0T. I NEED T0 JUST... G0 WHERE LIFE TAKES ME.

YESTERDAY. THE SAV0NS 0N THE 0THER BL0CK CAUGHT 0N FIRE. KUYA MIKE & LEN CAME 0VER. WE CHILLED. TALKED AB0UT THE WEEKEND. L00KED AT 0R SUMMER PICTURES T0GETHER. HAHA MESSED AR0UND WITHT THE PICX A BIT. AWWW THE MEM0RIES. L0VELY. WE G0T S0RTA SCARED CUZ THE PLACE BURNED UP AND THEN THE SM0KE ALM0ST CAME 0UR WAY. FREAKY STUFF. H0PE N0 0NE G0T HURT. THEN WE HAD A BLACK0UT F0R 2 FREAKIN` H0URS. S0 I KICKED IT WITH SERGI0 AND MARC0 0UTSIDE. R0DE THE SC00TER THINGY. WHATEVER. 0HH BY THE WAY... C0NGRATS T0 NASH F0R PLACING 2ND AT THE G0LF T0URNAMENT. NICE 0NE MISTER. AJ CALLED ME LAST NIGHT BUT I WAS S0RTA 0UT 0F IT. FUCK I IGN0RED EVERY0NE. S0RRY. I WAS JUST N0T IN THE M00D. TALKED T0 budE JAMES AB0UT HIPH0P. HAHA... HILARI0US. YES WE HAVE T0 GET MAI INT0 BUT SHE WR0TE S0METHING AB0UT IT IN HER XANGA. YES. "UNDERGR0UND IS INTERESTING" MAIXCELL. HAVING Y0U AR0UND SURE MADE SUMMER GREAT. WELL THAT`S ALL F0R N0W F0LKS. MAYBE I`LL WRITE M0RE LATER. I NEED A BREAK. THANK G0D THERE`S WEEKENDS. I H0PE THAT TIN & MAI C0ULD SLEEP 0VER. I`M G0NNA SEE LAUREEN T0M0RR0W & JILL 0N SATURDAY WITH PATRICK. YES... G0 VILLAREAL FAMILY. I`M FEELING A LIL FEVER C0MING AL0NG. DAMN. WHERE`S EY.S0N??

PEACE & 0NE L0VE. -HEIDI.

Dearest Cousin,

     Well now your 15 with 15 years of memories! I’m glad that I got to spend practically 14 years by your side… helping you through the bad and good. Before you know it we’ll be adults living our lives the way we should. Between you and me, we’ve grown a relationship of playing with Power Rangers to a relationship of talking about more important things. Like our careers as well as boys! Hehe. So many memories that will keep developing all throughout the years… along with so many heartbreaks and tears, of sadness and joy. It was a long run before we got to see how we both really were. By that I mean, it was hard enough that when we were little, all the cousins would fight every once in a while, but it was you who showed me that I was different from all of you as the years came passing by. You were the one who showed me that this heart of mine loves everyone and would hate to see it come crashing down if I were ever mad at someone. If you get what I’m saying there, that’s good. LoL. But if u don’t, here’s what I’m trying to say: no matter how many people are made at you, I could never be. Disappointed, yes, but I could never be mad at anyone, nonetheless, hate anyone. It has always been you who also helped me through my times in life, when it came to this side of the family. Our dads side, I may not be the closest to, but some of the people, I’m closer than ever. And that’s where you come in. I may not call you ate, but know that I do respect you. ((even though I’m more mature than you… J joke)) Well I have to say, we’ve grown and blossomed to pretty young ladies… if I do say so myself. Lmao. But yes, you, you’ve changed, and you still are. Just keep your head up to every tough time that comes crawling by, and keep that heart of yours as pure as gold! You’ve got a big heart and a big head, to fill your greatest dreams in. J JUST LIKE ME EI’ Ha Ha. ((but there is ONE BIG thing you don’t have that I do, and I’m not talking about my appetite… .:wink:.)) … If there’s one thing I want to achieve in this world, it’s to become a pediatrician… now Hide, what’s yours?! You’re a smart girl… be whatever your heart wants to be. Don’t do anything you’re pressured to do. Believe me, life may work that way for others, but you’re not one of them. Keep your hopes up!!!

     WOW! We’ve had so many special moments that have been shared with one another and crazy ass times that will never be fogotten. And I’m sure that you’ve had your times about me that were shared with other people. -PiMP- Ha Ha. One of your best jokes. Well, just as long as you’re not talking bad about me it’s all good. Cause you know I will kick your ass! Hehe. If there’s one thing in my life that I don’t have, that you do, it's TRUE FRIENDS. Whenever I’m over, and you have a friend over as well, I can see that you two are inseparable. You have the type of friends that I would kill for. Yeah, I may have a lot of friends, but not like yours. Yours will know how you’re feeling everyday with one glimpse of your face… mine, well lets just say that I have only two that can tell my feelings by my expressions. Others, as usual will just say they have your back after talking to them when they’re down. So keep those who mean the most to you. Like Mai. You two are always together and constantly talking about each others funny times. Friendship is one thing a person has to have in life! Without them, you’re nothing. Trust me in that! Well, I guess I have to say that I can’t wait until your party comes along, so I can meet more of the people you talk about. Now when I meet them, I won’t be clueless when you say their name. Ha Ha. Ok before I head off, I just want to say thanks for everything and all that you’ve done! Specially, thanks for helping me realize that I’m a great friend and a terrific cousin. I just hope that you don’t forget that if ever you need a cousin by your side or even a friend to talk to, I’m here… for both jobs! Take care always, and God Bless and watch over you for every step you take. Love you chuz- aka pangit. Hehe… joke lang. I typed this whole thing so “proper.” Ha Ha. Can’t wait to see what I have to say for your debut. It’s cool, we all know that mines going to be better. J/k. Well again, I hope that if ever you need a favor or anything, you’ll run to me, cause remember… if ever you need a hand, I’ve got two. J Late chuz!

Sending Love Always,

Ahding Laureen aka GandaH

M00D + EXCITED.

V0LUMEs UP T0 + TIME 0F Y0UR LIFE - GREEN DAY

wow. well here i am again. rambling on about my one.five years here on earth. man oh man it feels good. i feel relieved, happy, and i feel like time has healed my pain. i`ve lost and i`ve gained. so thanks to all those who inspired me to be the best i can be. oh shit that sounds soo army like. haha. but yeah. freshmen year is over and here i am, in 2 days, entering sophomore year. thank you to those people who have stuck by me through everything. to my family & friends. through the drama, the tears, and the smilez you`re there. you guys have been the best and you`ve taught me so much these past years. just always remember that i`ll be there for you guys no matter what. my life has been full of soo many unforgettable memories. and so again thank you guys. i love you to the very very end. i`m keeping my head up and smiling for you guys.

God: thank you for giving me the greatest family & friends ever. without them, i wouldn`t be here. thank you for all the blessings. for all the guidance. for my life. i`ve learned to love and i`ve learned to be thankful for everything that has happened to me. i`ve experienced so many things. i`ve been taught. learned my lessons. found my true friends. found the love of my life. so thank you.

maixcell: if there had to be one thing i`d be thankful for, it`d be having your asswipe advices and all the good ass memories. damn dude. i don`t tell you this much often, but big thank yous. you`ve supported me in all that i do. told me right from wrong. helped me in my vocabulary. haha. helped me sleep cuz of that "thingy" and most of all you`ve given me the world`s greatest best friend and sister. no matter what bullshit we go through, we always happened to clear it up.damn those arguements... cuz you always win!! haha. but you`ve taught me soo much. seriously. keep doing what you do cuz you know you`re cool rollin` like that asswipe. keep smiling & keep the memories coming. good luck with finding your ASIAN "urrrsher." we`ve got our opposite sides and we`ve got our in common shit. so that`s tight. but still. i don`t roll in pink or orange!! gotta be brown & blue haha. always remember that i`m here for you. shit just "H0LLER" haha. i`ll be there for you just like you`ve been there for me. you`ve been one great big part of my life. i`ll be there to support you and help you out cuz you`re my best friend. i`ll try my best to be that "shoulder" you need. no matter how much trouble it is i go through you`ve listened and helped me get through it. you`ve pushed me to be the best. so thank you for being who you are. i love you maicolorein. like you say "keep your head up" right right?? thanks for being there in everything. i have your back, your front, sides, top, and bottom all the way. full support shit!! haha. later punk!!

alison joyce: awwww shit!! i just wanted to say thanks for all the fuckin SMILEz and the memories. thanks for cheering me up and helping me with the problems. you`ve cheered me up. just having you around and talking to you alreay makes my day the best it can be. i`ll always remember our late night talks and us two just being the loudest bitches we could ever be... getting our asses in trouble from your bro and my mom. haha. that`s us man all the way. you always gotta do that!! thanks for everything shorty. i love you man... just always remember keep the laughs up and remember that i`ll be here to the very end.

tara: ever since our elem. days, we`ve stuck together and we`ve been the closest friends even though we go our seperate ways. it`s been really really tight that we click like that. man, you`ve helped me realize so much shit. yes you`re my cousin. i`ve got so much to look back on with the both of us. "past poo service" and "kongo momma & jamjam package." haha. thanks for all the support that i needed to help me get up on my feet. i love you duude!! just call me if you need help with anything. call me for whatever. you and your unique abilities.. i love it. take care and i wish you the best in everything.

issa: shit you ate!! haha. after all the fuckin non-sense bullshit, confusion, and the fights we managed to help each other out and pull through it. that`s what`s good about us. we work as one. you`ve been there to help me cheer up and just smile. man you rock!! i`ll be there for you like you`ve been there for me man... stay up and remember that you`ve got your lil sis here waiting for you on saturday. i love you ate... keep the memories alive and coming.

laureen: awww my dear cousin. don`t you feel special!! haha. thanks for the long night talks on the phone. you`ve cheered me up and successfully i stayed up late and fell asleep even after you scared me. damn. i`ll get back at you for all that. thanks for speaking the truth and being yourself. we`ve had the ups and downs but still... we`re blood. we roll together as sisters. good luck in high school lil one. i`m always here for you. stay pimp. haha. keep singing and doing all that good shit. keep all the energy for saturday. hahaha. i love you cuz!! you have my support.

robbie.matt.aaron: you 3 SMILEz boys. thanks for all the help and pushing me up. you`ve taught me a lot. helped me be strong and made me laugh. thanks for all the help guys. i love you 3!!!! rock hardcore & stay "g" haha.

beau: my kuya!! thanks for always sticking around and just making me happy. i won`t forget our homecoming dance, valentine`s, and especially my birthday swing dance!! you rock bro. i love you!! stay unique and BEAUtiful.

aeson: yeah boy!! haha. thanks for helping me in everything. always being there when i needed to talk to you. cheering me up and just making me laugh with your stupid jokes. i love em all!! haha always take care of yourself. you`ve been a great friend and great supporter. love you lots man!! you and your alien +) ahaha. ey.S0N & hi.DEE... we are the gay ass faces.

lloyd: best friend!! holler!! haha. thanks for trying your best to always be there to help me out. for letting me drive. you`ve supported a lot of shit that i did. thanks for all the help. you stay pimp and good luck with the love life mister.

to the homies: all you guys have played a special part in my life that i`ll never forget. each of you have been something special and we`ve had our memories together. tin and you running into the pole. krys&kai:thanks for the laughs. you guys are soo pretty. stay beautiful. jeff&joe&cj: you two break boy great ass dancers. thanks for the greatest laughs. thanks for the hilarious memories. for scaring me and mai. haha thanks for everything. ellyse&rhonna&nai: thanks for the serious talks and the hilarious memories at sschool. you`ve taught me a great lesson of friendship. you guys will be there no matter what. thanks for everything. jen&char:thanks for all the help in everything. i love you two. to jill. mariz. den. niks. jess. eman. dree. aggs. daryl. mikey. patrick. jommel. ryan. calvin. bina. oscar. erwin. joseph. mark. renei. ernest. susan. jennifer. vanessa. bryan. law. nikko. ike. dexter. andrew. paolo. ace. and the resta you guys out there. thanks for all the help and support. the memories will always be there.

marc:you`ve been there when i needed you the most. the ride from northridge. thanks for that man. you`re cool.

manong DeX: you`ve helped out the best way possible. good luck with everything. you stay sweet and get those girls like you`ve done.

to the ates&kuyas: lyanne.eve.emily.aileen. jenn. camille.cammie.jakee.jamie. tib. gerard. josen. mike. ryan. ronell. mike. jason. tim. joseph"holler". keith. jojo. jr. jerome. diana. eileen. and all you family and older friends out there. thanks for the lessons and the fun memories. you guys are cool so stay up.

to my family: mom&dad. you guys have had your ups and downs. but you`ve managed to get through it. thanks for giving me everything you can. helping me out and supporting me. i love you two. hazel&hynna. my dear sisters. stay up and grow up to be smart and beautiful. don`t get into boys!! haha. take care you two. love you guys. to the resta the family: thanks for all the help. for the great memories and all the weird stuff. you guys have been good.

to this anonymous person: you`ve said shit and it hurt. but i understand that you spoke the truth. thanks for that. but that`s over with. i will never forget what you said to me when i last talked to you. fuck that. i don`t need you man. i`m happy & i don`t need your fuckin ass to ruin my life and bring me down. thanks for everything that was said in the past. thank you for helping me realize that i needed to grow up and start thinking before taking action. made me find who i really was. and i`m not that person who idolizes someone like you.

M00D + happy & proud

V0LUMEs UP T0 + some good old mix

TH0UGHTs + thanks to my family & friends for making my 15 bday fun!!

dearest CEEDrick,

well i`ve finally reached the age of 15 yesterday at 8:33p.m. HAPPY BIRTHDAY T0 ME . J0ELLE . ARLENE . AND NASH!! damn, it`s been good. everythings pretty chill. things are turning out really really good for me. i hope that`s how it is for everyone too. but yeah. the weekend was off the hook. days & nights full of laughter, tears, SMILEz, and outtings. man, i already miss it. i gotta prepare soon cuz school`s starting on thursday. but here`s an entry on my weekend blast. you ready for it... here i go.

|friday||| pretty chill day for me. prepared myself for the weekend plans. went to the hospital for my lolo`s appointment stuff. went to chowking & ordered my "blk gula" as usual. then just chilled the whole night. knocked out at 4 talking to laureen. thanks for the countdown cuz.

|saturday||| good memories to have this whole day & night. thanks to everyone for making it special. woke up around 7:30. took a shower and headed to the book sale. sold my other books and bought my books. haha. mai got the wrong geometry book. tried to help everyone out with finding people to sell/buy their books. after that, said my goodbyes around 10:45 and whatever else. went out with mommy to yoshinoya cuz we were hungry. went to the mall to get my outfit for vanessa`s quicenera at forever 21. rolled in my brown and blue. after that dropped off books to the library. got home and talked to mai & beau. got dropped off at mai`s around 7:00... she still wasn`t ready!! haha. man, i should`ve worn my chucks but no. oh well. waited for her dad to get back home to drop us off to the castaway. then we left her house around 8:30. took us forever to find the WALNUT street!! haha. we got there and dadadamn!! view of the valley was fuckin awesome especially seeing it at night. nice area... waited for jeff,joe, andcj to get there so we could go down to the luau. haha. they got there. said "hi" to our shuttle man. got to the parking lot. omg!!! the 3 guys scared the fuck outta me and mai. haha. our faces man, you should`ve seen it. hilariousness. ran up the hill in heels!! good ass hilarious times. made our entrance. damn... nice ass place. meet with kai, krys, beau, oscar, andrew, robbie, mike, and the rest of the sg people. vanessa looked soo pretty!! as usual. then i got sorta hungry... food was running out. we had to buy drinks. man that dude at the bar was fuckin lame. haha. oh well. we DANCED DANCED DANCED without our heels. chicks & dicks got low!!! me kai krys and mai wanted to do that so we practiced..."GET L0W GUYS.. ok READY..GO" haha. i don`t exactly know what was going on with mai & "taloma," but those two were spanking people`s asses. haha. whatever. and more DANCING came. us girls chilled so we took some whack ass pictures at the rocks!! ohh man. then 12:00 hit and it was AUGUST 1. YAY... IT`S MY BIRTHDAY. got greeted by the homies there. thanks guys!! i love you!! aj called and said happy birthday!! thanks thanks. beau took me for a swing dance!! thanks bro!! that was tight. love you for that. then time was running and everyone was leaving. so we decided to leave too. said the goodbyes to everyone. maixcell & i got our flowers!! great way to start off 15 huh. jacking flowers. haha. ohh yes. delightful. so what`s left was me,mai,jeff,joe,&cj. jeff&i rolled down that wet hill in our formal clothes. THAT HURT BUT IT WAS FUN & WET. haha. good one. i swear i was dizzy when i stood up so i kept tumbling. obviously. someone went pee. was it jeff?? don`t remember. good times on the field. cj jacked my "carts" thingy. thanks. and me and joe were freestylin` under the moon. we were just beatboxing!! haha. ohh yeah. that was cool. waited... at the side. we looked like hitch-hikers. got our shuttle bus ride up to the castaway one last time. waited for maixcell`s dad. looked at the view... jeff`s farts & stories i will miss. our jokes!! funny shit. got picked up. joe showed tito a shortcut. good job... YEAH B0YYYe. haha. the 3 gentlemen sang happy birthday in the car & all their other fancinating songs. "the postal service" songs. got dropped off first around 1. got greeted by my dad and mom. read my mail & other things. talked to aj til 2:30.

|sunday||| woke up pretty around 9. aj called and greeted me again. then my aunties. then cousins. haha. loser. got ready for church at 11. saw everyone. got the greetings. sat next to ate camille rainer and ate jakee. ohh you know me and rainer did our clap jams in church!! gloria "clap clap" haha. good one homie. after church said my goodbyes and thank yous and then my parents took me out to eat at northridge. a&w. thanks familia. saw mai at every corner. man... that was some weird but cool shit. my lil sis hynna embarassed me in the restroom. ohh my gosh!! she started cracking up and this girl came in and she said "ohh my god... like how cute. how old is she?" and i said "ohh, she`s 7." and she replied "like oh my god that is like sooo cute!!" haha. i was red as hell. then i called aj. she was on the way to my house so we went home. ALIS0N J0YCE was already there. awww thanks for the flowers sweetie. they were awesomafied!! waited for mai. talked to elfren. sorry that you couldn`t make it. talked to aaron and told him we were on our way. but the MAI took forever. haha. it`s cool. picked her up and on our way to burbank. met up with robbie, daryl, mikey, patrick, aaron, ace, and best friend lloyd came!! haha aww yay!! got a lil seperated from the guys cuz of our "plan" haha. it was cool. they were looking for us. AJ and i tried to look for some hot guys... N0NE!! haha. got in the mall and they took the carousel out. it looks even more emptier. then we wanted to watch HAR0LD & KUMAR but we needed someone who was 18&over. so we luckily met APRIL. thanks hun!! she bought our tickets. got up there and the guy didn`t let us in cuz it was ratedR. mybirthday and ratedR movies. haha. gladly AJ used her SMILEz lady skills!! haha. thanks. missed about half an hour but it was still a good movie. hilarious hilarious. "BATTLESHITS" haha. nonstop laughs. met james aldrin mercado and saw kevin munoz again. thanks budE james for the tag. walked around and chilled with everyone. the SMILEz girlies rocked the freestyle and beatboxing at the stoplight beeper!! haha. that was tight. dropped off aj. mai explained her problemas!! it`s cool... she always had a plan!! good one woman!! shane diane and charles then came. couple of the guys were left. so robbie and lloyd plus aaron,james, and kevin were watching spiderman2. got close to watching it again with them but it was soldout. so me mai lloyd and robbie decided to eat at H00TERS without them. called kuya josen and he was on his way. while we were waiting, we took pictures. mai just noticed that robbie`s beanie was the one she wanted from anchor blue. haha. loser. then kuya JOSEN got there with kuya NICK. got our seats and met our hostess BRENDA!! she`s soo pretty. haha. ohhh man... lloyd was so excited that he was shaking!! the guys did their usual checking out titz and asses. haha. i thought i saw a good looking guy inside... but naw. haha. too bad huh mai?? got our orders of our chicken!! good ass chicken as usual. daym that hot sauce!!! it was burnin!! it was my birthday so i told brenda that and she said she was gonna sing for me with the hooter ladies. guys got even more excited. turns out they were singing and i was the one dancing on the stool!! i would`ve freaked the air but i got scared i was gonna fall off the stool. haha oh well. that was fun. took pictures with her. fuckin lloyd "omg guys!! she touched me!! i`m shaking.. look" haha. and robbie "damn that picture i have with her is soo bad!!" damn.. you loser!! got my menu signed by brenda... thanks yo!! all of us got pictures with her. left H00TERS. went back to the theaters to meet up with the resta the dudes.... shit i neeeded to peee like crazy!! got there and went pee and i noticed aaron left while we were chillin. james is a SOPH0M0RE. i`m such a gullable bitch!! haha. said our goodbyes to them. and for one last time me and mai messed with the "beeper at the stoplight" we were flowing and shakin` our asses and then these guys in the car go out yelling "YEAH!!!" haha. that was tight. we roll like that mai. got picked up by my dad!! dropped off lloyd & robbie. then dropped off mai. got home around 11.. and tita mae, tita macy, and tita beth called right when i entered my room... good timing aunties. they greeted me. thanks. got calls from a couple of friends... fuckin nash "we roll on AUGUST 1" haha. yup yup. uploaded the pictures... and then chilled. during the last few minutes of turning 15... tara emailed me this birthday card... made me cry a bit. it was touching. thanks buddy!! i love you tp!! haha. called mai around 3 cuz i couldn`t sleep. patrick. haha. shush!! i had to watch SANTA CLAUSE 2 to sleep. haha. ohhh yes.

|monday||| today was chill chiill. cleaned my room and did my laundry. called the familia and told them about the party. a lot of thoughts came to mind. talked to issa. i hope you can make it... omg ate!! thanks for the fuckin collage. that was tight as hell. we got to catch up on somethings. yup yup. my sister went to the hospital cuz she couldn`t breathe... she comes back home and she has slight asthma. i love you ading hazel !! well that`s the weekend... pictures will be put up in a bit... or check maixcell`s xanga. http://www.xanga.com/bab1esmiles.com. ok guys. lloyd played a prank!! fuckin best friend.. that was a good one though. haha. yay!! i`m gonna get to see the homies this weekend. uh huh... man i`m hungry. talk to all you guys later.

peace and one love to the very end. -heidi

CURRENTLY + talking to maixcell on the phone.

TRACK + turn the page - aaliyah

M00D.TH0UGHTS + goody good good. "what`s going on this sunday??"

dearest "asshole,"

well i`m putting this xanga entry in letter form cuz i feel like it. well i just wanted to say, "HAPPY BELATED 15TH BIRTHDAY PEANUTS KAI!!!!.. I L0VE Y0U!!!"" a lot of things have been up lately. pretty pretty cool. on monday it was our last summer league game. we tried our hardest but unfortunately we came up short. not a bad game at all. on tuesday, it was kyla`s "surprise" party. a little bit of confusion went on in the morning on whether it was canceled or not. talked to krys, mikey, and char about it. it wasn`t canceled. so i called mai and checked if she was going. picked her up around 4:15. haha!! she wasn`t ready. it`s cool. got to jeffrey`s house and robbie, buddy matt, erwin, daryl, mikey, and best friend lloyd were there. they were playing britney spears dance revolution. funny stuff. kicked it there for awhile. then aaron matt and eman came. awww aaron!! long time no see!!! good times with them. then me and mai walked and then saw tin kai krys kat shane and sonny coming. SURPRISE KAI!! kai opened her presents. hoped you like the batman presents yo!! haha. then char came. haven`t seen her since school ended. she got a hair cut... pretty stuff. then all of us kicked it outside. i got to tag on everyone`s hand. the "quads," the "smilez," the "tcp," and whoever else wanted something. then sam came. we came up with tcp... but i still don`t know. aaron and his "QUEERSMILEz" haha. ohhh aaron and matt. rappers!! first you have matt saying, "yo, your pants ain`t fly, now go bye-bye." haha. then aaron. "check it, yo, i`m from kansas and i can kick your ass!!" haha. erwin killed our pet spider. damn, that spider was rockin` in curve!! had a talk with matt and mai. wow. surprises!! then ate lyanne came with joy jesse crystal and them. then joe and cj came. chilled chilled. talked to robbie about what was going on. he ran cuz that boy was scared to face it. it was cool talking to his ass. told me what was needed to be said after a long time. funny boy. he gave his "fake" letter to maixcell. loser. then joe, cj, and jeff drove us to sammie`s house. damn, all pimped out in an escalade!! drove back to jeff`s casa. noticed that lloyd, daryl, and mikey were leaving. sucks man. went inside. chilled. mai lost her slippers. fuckin` joe and cj did their black magic game on us. i swear i tried to figure that shit out. i almost got there!! joe and cj then took me and maixcell to my casa. thanks for the ride guys. good memories in that pimped ride. "slow motion" "me and the navigator" haha. mai got here and i swear i was knockin` out. fuckin` she jumped on my bed again. she did that the last time too. with denise and they had a pillow fight. but after 30 seconds, they stopped. weak sauces. we talked to kevin!! he got interested in her!! 21 questions home boy. she talked to robbie about sunday. i still don`t know what`s going on asshole. please tell me something. maixcell then left. she took my rundown movie. then i was left at home. knocked out and then knocked open with the call of marc!! oh yes. thank you very much. slept around 3 talking to his ass about the saturday after my birthday. wednesday oh wednesday. last scrimage ball game of the summer against pacific hills. pretty cool. after that we had a party and i got to talk to jayjay and simone. hope to see you here next week. then after that, grant told me some stuff stuff. called my dad. he wasn`t home. kindly, grant took me home. got to meet his father. cool cool. got in trouble cuz there was some confusion between my grandparents and dad. blah blah. talked to aj!! holy crap. nice talks as always. talked to maixcell and robbie. then i talked to mariz.. her and her volleyballness. pretty tight though. damn phone cards. oh yes. remember "hit that shit" and "suck a fuck" and "witch a bitch" haha... good times riz!! i love it. talked to jill to help her stay up cuz patrick snuck out.. haha bad boy!! it`s sweet though. yes i will see this ej boy. and whoever the dude that`s fuckin` with you, jill will whoop his booty!! haha. talked to kuya jay and kuya mike about sunday. they`re down. then i called mai around 2 and her ass was still awake. got recruited to "SMILEz." yay!! so happy. thanks guys. called aj and she was still up. haha night night to all of them. told her about john on myspace. lmfao. good shit. then talked to my lil cuz laureen the whole night til 4:30 in the morning. man. hilarious shit!! "unfinished biz. 03"... you and your pimp self cuz. knocked out around 4:45 trying to watch triple x. i`m such a loser. today today. was pretty chill. woke up around 9 cuz someone called,i forgot. whoever called sorry. i don`t remember. who was it? around 3 we went to the hospital. then i went to video city to return movies. then after that i went to chowking. slow ass mothers!! fuck!! went to seafood city and saw mya. couple of guys there looked familiar. rented "chasing liberty" after a long ass arguement with my dad. got home. called aj and then called mai. still here trying to figure out what to do for my birthday on sunday. burbank or santa monica?? ir if anything else... anyone have a better place to go.called joe. hopefully he`ll come. then called aj again and she was eating. now i`m talking to mai and she`s saying "where are your ideas heidi!!" how mean huh? are we going on saturday? who knows. crap. she`s smelling the curve on the dollar bill ring. haha. awesome. yeah.

... as i look back on everything, i know it`s wrong to think it, but sometimes i wish you were still here. you`re still being missed and you always will be. i`m lucky to have had you as my friend. i wish i could`ve said or done something for you not to leave, but i can`t change the past now. i miss what we had. i miss what we did. i miss just having you around to talk to me. to cheer me up and help me. i miss having you here.

peace and one love. h e i d i .